A Story of Wrong
A wise friend once told me that when she meets with an inmate, she’ll try to picture them as a five year old.
More than any other document, inmates are often keen to share their autobiographies with me. Often, these are painstakingly written as part of a family violence program in a prison.
The mail arrives. Another bulky package. A dozen stamps on the front. It’s from someone who goes by a number.
What became of that little boy? How did he get off-track? What was missing – love, care, affirmation – when he was a child? What was present – violence, abuse, shame – that should not have been?
Another person wants me to know their story. To actually know them. To actually see them. Not in the way that everyone else does.
When we do something wrong, we want to tell a story about how it happened. When others do, we want to remove the behaviour from its context.
I could probably tell many of the stories without ever reading them. Neither comedy, nor sufficient drama, they are tragedies.
A boy beaten with electrical wire. Kindergarten-age children tied to trees in thunderstorms. Not that uncommon or even the most outrageous of what is written.
No one notices.
Actually, that’s wrong, society does notice: when they break the law as adults, we give them what they deserve.
Judah Oudshoorn is a Professor at Conestoga College in the Community and Criminal Justice Degree program, a restorative justice mediator in the Canadian federal prison system and a PhD student at the University of Toronto. More importantly, he likes chocolate chip cookies, books and lawnmowers. Most importantly, he is a proud dad and partner. Judah can be contacted at joudshoorn@conestogac.on.ca